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How many times do we have to say it? You don't get to start by arguing for ignorant transphobic (or racist &c) opinions, & then later claim you're "just new" & "just trying to learn" & Why Are Mean People Calling Me A Transphobe? To learn, you have to START by listening.
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In case the context is confusing: You absolutely can learn & grow & do better, even after fucking up. I've been there often! I recommend it! What you can't do is start complaining that groups are "mean to new people" after barging in all cocky & wrong & refusing to listen.
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People's lives are not your thought experiment.