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Friends I respect deeply, doing important & impressive skilled work, make anywhere from $20k-$400k. These numbers do not reflect actual value. They all deserve more, and more equitable pay. But mostly they deserve a better system.
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The salary-sharing exercise has shown exactly what was expected: income disparity. Some of it explained by cost of living, much of it not. It also resulted in harassment, shame, & bullying. We're not good at talking about money, or understanding it as a systemic issue.
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It's personal because we need it to survive, & because we're told that our pay is based on "merit" – an accurate ranking of our contributions and value. That's some serious bullshit.
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Nothing new, but I'm tired of a system that attaches worth to labor, to money, to survival - all of it controlled by hand-wavy "market forces" which are not neutral or humane. Merit is just another sleight to distract from power & privilege. It's a traumatic mind-fuck.
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A couple years ago, someone at a conference complimented my career & I burst into tears. I was borrowing money to pay rent & my limited success came almost entirely from the things that paid the least. Clearly desired by the industry, but not backed with actual money.
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And constantly, when I look around – people doing some of the most important work are getting paid the least. Because the market doesn't reflect actual value, it reflects corporate profitability. It reflects a value-system that I have no respect for.
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This game sucks, & it sucks more for some than others. It's arbitrary, it's rigged, & marginalized groups have to fight for our share. We do that in different ways, in different places, making different sacrifices. Sometimes pay isn't even comparable when it's transparent.
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2019 is the first year I've achieved any sort of financial stability, tho I'm not convinced that's real, while continuing to trade labor for money. I have a home & a couple months savings, but anything could go wrong & it all falls apart. Others feel "stable" at different places.
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And I know that I do have other options now, if I need, & some of them would pay more. I'm known in a field with too much money. And while I don't like the other options, they're important. "Stability" is often more about options than cash. It's also about a sense of agency.
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Which is why I like our small team: negotiating together, setting rates & priorities together, sharing resources. On our own, we are all "worth" different market amounts. Working together, worth is a team effort. Then we pay ourselves evenly, & change our rates any time we want.
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It's not perfect, but I'm so grateful to share the struggle with people I trust & respect – people who balance & accentuate my own skills & limits. I can't imagine a "dream job" exactly, but I work with a dream team every day. That's worth a lot. Also we're good. Hire us. :)